Paris

Amidst moving abroad and trying to make a career, I had lost track of my true calling. Adding to this ‘sense of being adrift’, was a constant unsettling heavy feeling of wistfulness. Longing for loved ones back home would engulf most of my emotional capacity. People would come into my life, not for being a part of it, but for their own selfish gain and motive. Old friends lost, new ones never loved.

Three years would pass, and I would still be stuck in this limbo. I, an ardent advocate of travelling, would lay docile in a monotonous existence. I had enough, I stopped expecting people to resonate with my ambitions. I decided to do it alone, and this would turn out to be a decisive juncture. In a time of vacuous ambiguity and emotional peril in my life, I would travel to Paris.

While I deem myself more of an explorer, and less of a tourist, the city of lights did not disappoint. Weirdly enough, it felt closer to my hometown; Hyderabad than my place of residence; Stockholm. The Parisian streets bore a stark resemblance to the streets of Hyderabad. They had character and unmatched personality. Paris was definitely polarising too. Lamborghinis would roll in the fashion street of Dior which would be paved by a fickle scent of poverty, just how Banjara Hills breathes richness while mockingly turning a blind eye to the poor.

The Eiffel Tower, man’s priced monument, the Ozymandias of modern times, stood ‘gargantuanly’ in the heart of the city. Its ominous presence was unmatched. The Notre Dame stood valiantly , despite having been burnt down to ashes, a few years ago. L’Arc de Triomphe was distinctly similar to the gateway of India. Two humanly eyes would not suffice to appreciate the beauty of these monuments. On top of this, an old friend of mine would host a dinner, eagerly awaiting my presence.

I would have my moment of tranquility at the Sacre-couer. Ambient noise would slowly fade away, amidst wind rustling through my hair. The hopes of lovers, locked away by pads’, would be accompanied by a busker with a magical voice singing ‘Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you beetween my arms, barefoot on the grass…’

Music, art, history, love, the Sun above, the ground below, and the horizon in front of me overwhelmed my senses, it was as though time itself had slowed down. My thoughts would finally slow down, and in that moment time stopped , and I sighed, in relief, the weight of what seemed like an eternity, would be lifted off my shoulders, my eyes teared up, yet again ; in awe of this beautiful planet, that we call home.

Through these years, I lost in love, I lost in life, I lost myself, I associated with the wrong people, people who would belittle my ambitions, people who questioned my character, and yet, here I am. I got back up, made purpose in my life, made a positive impact at work, on my family, and embraced people of the past for the good that they have done, instead of loathing them for the weight of their spite.

I’m back chasing horizons, redefining what my horizon is, for one horizon leads to the next.